A Lesson to a Control Freak!

The last six weeks of my life have been absolutely stressful and I need an outlet.  My entire life, I have felt extremely blessed.  Things have always went according to plan.  I work hard and am typically able to accomplish the things I strive to do.  Today's post is so different from what I usually post but I am going to throw out my entire story in this post and cross my fingers that it makes sense.

{My oldest daughter was "taking my blood pressure" like the nurse.}

Three years ago, I was pregnant with my daughter and I had big plans.  I had just finished my student teaching and was due on June 9th.  
This was my summer plan:
   1.  Finish Student Teaching
   2.  Have Baby
   3.  Find Job Before August

{We were anxiously waiting for Aubree!} 

{MANY hours later, she was here!}

Well guess what?  Despite many people laughing and calling me a total control freak (which I am...), everything fell into place.  I finished student teaching and was excited to have my first interview on May 31st.  I couldn't wait!  Well, guess what?  My daughter came early and was born on May 31st.  Obviously, I missed my interview.  Luckily, they understood and I interviewed a week later on June 7th and was offered a job on the spot.  My plan was falling together perfectly.  I couldn't wait to begin my career and begin to do what I had dreamed of doing all my life.

That year, I taught special education to students with disabilities in grades kindergarten through third grade.  I loved the students, the parents, my fellow teachers, and administrators.  It was what I had dreamed of for as long as I could remember.  My principal actually named my blog based on that school year.  I worked in the primary grades and absolutely loved what I did.  He repeatedly told me that I was his "Primary Gal".  I loved the younger grades and he liked me being there.  What could go wrong, right?

A week and a half before school started the following year, he moved me to fourth and fifth grades.  UGH!  I knew and understood why but I knew I would miss my little ones.  I really thought that nothing could compare to the prior year.  Let me tell you, I was completely wrong.  I had a fabulous year with teachers and students that I will never forget.

Near the end of the school year, I found out that a fifth grade, general education position was available in my hometown school.  My husband and I both attended this school as children.  He had the privilege of getting a job there after graduating.  My oldest daughter would be beginning kindergarten in this school.  I couldn't resist.  I applied and was offered the position.  

{Olivia on her first day of kindergarten!}

My heart was happy!  I would be able to teach in the community that I grew up in.  I would be able to inspire students in the very building that inspired me to follow and achieve my career goals.  What an honor!  I would be able to do all of this while being in the same building as my husband and daughter.

Mid-April, I got a text from my principal that my teaching partner and I needed to go to the superintendent's office after school.  YIKES!  Who wants to do that?!  We went, both completely nervous as to what news we were in for.  My heart sank as my superintendent delivered the awful news that possible RIFs were coming our way due to extreme budget cuts at the state level.  

I didn't know how to handle this news.  I was heart broken, confused, and scared.  I considered doing TeachersPayTeachers full time, but I couldn't stand the thought of not working with kids.  I interviewed at another school late last week.  I felt like a trader.  I felt terrible even having to weigh the options of leaving the school that I grew up in.  I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to be in the same building as my family.  But, I also couldn't stand the thought of not being employed.   

Yesterday, I found out that my job is safe due to several teachers accepting a retirement package.  I am forever grateful to them but I couldn't help but fear that I would be on the chopping block year after year.  After a conversation with my superintendent (where I had to try WAY TOO HARD not to cry), he feels that I have survived the storm and am secure in my job!


Last week, I found myself constantly wondering why?  What is the point of all of this?  My only conclusion is to make me grateful for my job, my students, my community, my teaching partner (who is amazing and shown in the picture above), and my fellow teachers.  I also think that I need to relax a little and take the advice shown below... :)


2 comments:

  1. You have experienced God's favor on you!!!!!!

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  2. I'm so happy that everything worked out for you! I have learned (through many lessons! :) that everything works out in the end, and the way that it is meant to be. You have definitely inspired me to become a better teacher, and try new things-especially with my math block! Sometimes you just have to go along for the ride and trust in the journey! Congrats on staying put!

    :) Kaitlyn
    Smiles and Sunshine

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